Self-Care Doesn’t Always Look Like Self-Improvement: It’s Okay to Just Be

We live in a world that constantly pushes us to be better, do more, and keep improving and it’s no wonder we’re tired of being moms, wives, and so much more. But what if I told you that sometimes, the best form of self-care isn’t about striving or achieving?

What if self-care could be as simple as just sitting still and being present in the moment?

I’ve learned this lesson in the most unexpected place—right in the middle of my chicken run.

The Pressure of Constant Self-Improvement

Let’s face it, the pressure to constantly improve ourselves can be exhausting. We’re bombarded with messages telling us to be the best moms, the best wives, to hustle, to push ourselves to the next level. And while there’s nothing wrong with growth and self-improvement, it can sometimes feel like we’re on a never-ending treadmill with no time to catch our breath.

I used to think self-care meant doing things that would make me “better”—whether it was reading self-help books, setting new goals, or squeezing in a workout. But over time, I realized that this constant push to improve was leaving me drained, not refreshed. I needed a different approach, one that didn’t involve adding more to my already overflowing plate.

The Art of Just Being

Enter my chickens.

Yes, you read that right. These feathered friends have taught me one of the most valuable self-care lessons: the art of just being.

It started when I began taking a metal chair into their run. I’d sit down, and before long, at least one of the chickens would jump into my lap. As I sat there, quietly petting her or simply watching the others peck and scratch the ground, something magical happened—I learned to just be.

There was no agenda, no to-do list, no goal to accomplish. It was just me, the chickens, and the moment.

This simple practice of sitting still, being present, and soaking in the peace of the moment has done wonders for my mental health (as long as the kiddos don’t wander in to argue over who holds one of the 10 chicks). It’s a time when I let go of the need to improve, and instead, I just exist.

Why “Just Being” is Important

In a world that values productivity and constant growth, it’s easy to forget the importance of simply being. But here’s the truth: We all need moments where we can let go of the pressure to be more and just appreciate who we are, right here and now. These moments of stillness are crucial for our well-being. They allow us to reconnect with ourselves, to breathe, and to find peace in the midst of our busy lives.

For me, these quiet moments with my chickens have become a form of meditation. They help me slow down, clear my mind, and soothe my soul. And the best part? There’s no “right” way to do it. It’s not about achieving anything; it’s about allowing myself to rest and recharge without any expectations.

Embrace the Practice of Just Being

I want to encourage you to find your own version of this practice. It doesn’t have to involve chickens (although I highly recommend them!). It could be as simple as sitting on your porch with a cup of tea, taking a walk in nature, or lying in bed for a few extra minutes in the morning, just breathing. The key is to let go of the need to do something “productive” and instead, give yourself permission to simply be.

These moments of stillness and presence are just as valuable—if not more so—than the times we spend striving for self-improvement. They remind us that we are enough, just as we are, and that sometimes, the best self-care is simply allowing ourselves to rest.

So the next time you feel the pressure to improve, to do more, or to be more, I challenge you to take a step back. Find a quiet spot, sit down, and just be. You might be surprised at how much peace and joy you can find in those simple moments of stillness. After all, self-care isn’t always about what you do—it’s also about allowing yourself to just be.

How to get started with your self care practice

If you’ve been feeling the pressure to constantly improve and want to embrace the art of just being, I’ve created some tools to help you find balance. Check out my Self-Care Worksheet, designed to help you identify the areas of your life where you might need a little extra care. And if you’re ready to create a sustainable self-care routine that truly works for you, my Self-Care Planner will guide you in building habits that nourish your soul, not just add to your to-do list.

Remember, self-care isn’t about following someone else’s plan—it’s about creating your own. Let these tools support you on your journey to finding peace, balance, and joy in your everyday life.

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