You'll know when it's happening, but not what it means.

A year ago, this weekend, my Dad made his transition from this life, to the next.   Though we did not know it, my husband Robin's Mom was preparing to make her transition too.  She left this earth one week to the day of my Dad's passing.  There are many things in life you just have to live through.  Mother's Day is meant to be a beautiful celebration of life, love and nurturing, and happily, for many, it is.  I am so grateful for the many beautiful Mother's Day celebrations I've experienced.  But now, I understand better why Mother's Day has become something some of us just have to live through.  Whether you find yourself missing someone who is no longer here literally or figuratively; whether you sit at the headstone of a well-documented life or at the little unmarked grave of what could have been; whether you can talk about it or not breathe a word of it; and whether or not this has anything to do with mothers or mothering: you are not alone.  This is for you.  For us.  --- * --- * --- * --- * --- * --- No one tells you this: you'll know when it's happening but not what it means  though it may look like just one thing changed, it will feel like nothing's the same  some things we can't know we have to feel our way through  live all the way through  and especially when we want to live them least we will learn the most  like what to do when you can't seem to catch your breath from all the crying  or that it's ok  to not feel bad when you don't though you think you should  then there's what it is to not be over it, when some think you should be you learn, finally nothing ever changes change it is who we are  each of us will change everyone else will change too that's just what we do  earthly clothes will fall we may drench the earth with tears but still, the sun shines  make peace with knowing all we are ever promised is right here, right now  © Jenny Bienemann