How to ask for no holiday gifts (with a script!)

Here’s a quick and dirty guide on how to ask for no holiday gifts. Sure, it can feel a little awkward to buck the trend of overindulgent gift-giving, but just know the planet breathes a little bit easier with each missing package under the tree.

Dec 2, 2024 - 15:54

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How to ask for no holiday gifts (with a script!)

Here’s a quick and dirty guide on how to ask for no holiday gifts. Sure, it can feel a little awkward to buck the trend of overindulgent gift-giving, but just know the planet breathes a little bit easier with each missing package under the tree.

Collectively, we could make a big dent in this typically wasteful season!

Why should I care about asking for fewer gifts?

The statistics on wastefulness during the holidays are hard to pin down, but anecdotally we all know the holidays come with a skyrocketing mess of packaging, food waste, and unnecessary excess.

And some folks have actually attempted to pin our exact level of waste down. According to research, the amount of waste created during the holiday season (from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day) in the USA increases up to 43 percent.

So fight consumption we must.

I’m sure we can all think of those lovely people in our lives who feel like not giving physical gifts is the ultimate offense. Still, we can try. Have an early, kind-but-firm talk in an attempt to warn them off of gift-giving. And the more people you talk to, the better; because this is a massive problem.

Is it rude to ask for no gifts?

It’s your life, you can live it however you want!

Making an ask like this is absolutely acceptable; and in times where money feels tighter and tighter, some folks might feel a little relief at the permission to do less. Others might also feel the overwhelm of a cluttered house and take inspiration!

The real rudeness is not graciously accepting the few gifts that inevitably do trickle in from folks who either missed the memo or just couldn’t help themselves.

Keep trying! (And in the meantime, find a worthy program to share your unwanted gifts.)

But [family member] really wants to give gifts

As I mentioned above, there are always folks who physically cannot resist giving gifts. Here’s what I recommend.

Start with asking for no gifts. See the script below for ideas on how to approach that talk.
Offer alternatives to standard gifts. Better is… better… than perfect. Think about what else you could ask for that wouldn’t clutter up your home with things you won’t really use. Experiences, donations in your name, or consumable/DIY gifts can all be practical alternatives that give that person the feeling of gifting without compromising what you’re really looking for. (See below for a script.)
Graciously accept what you get. As I said before, take the few gifts that inevitably do trickle in from folks who just couldn’t help themselves. Stubbornly not letting gifts cross the threshold of your home isn’t really the

You might also consider limiting your gifts by using the 5 gift rule with particularly gifty folks!

Below is a script with some sample text of how you might approach the "no more gifts" talk. Good luck, it can be a tough one — but stand firm!

*The face you might make while asking ;)*

How to ask for no holiday gifts: the script

Hi [loved one]! I understand you love giving me/my kid lots of gifts for the holidays and I really, really appreciate it! This year I’ve been working really hard to declutter the house and buy less so I have a lower impact on the planet. To be honest, it’s made me so much happier! I have more time and money to do really fun things with people. And to be honest, my favorite memories are always better than the things I get.

All I want this holiday season is… nothing! Your presence with a call or visit would be more than enough for us. I can’t wait to catch up.

Thank you so much for understanding!

Alternative gift script

I totally understand you really want to give us something. What about if you gifted me/my kid:

experiences? The gift of spending time together. I/They have been really excited about [a new restaurant/museum/experience] recently and I think it would be great if we could do it together.
donations? I’ve been thinking a lot about how we already have all we need. I would love if you took the money you’d spend on physical gifts and donated it in my name/my kid’s name to [mutual aid group of choice]. A card or gift certificate talking more about it would be wonderful to see wrapped up!
consumables? Gifts we could really use and enjoy! Anything DIY is really appreciated, or lately I’ve been really into [wine/baking/candles] but can’t justify buying them for myself. I’d love some as a gift, hint hint!